Dreamin’ freedom… surreal or real?


14448925_696016723897243_6682877453138244793_nI am an intense dreamer and I pay great attention to my dream experiences since they often would affect me in my waking state. I can go all day, still feeling the emotions I felt in the dream. After all so much more interesting stuff is happening there.

Sometimes my dreams are sensual, melancholic, sometimes very loving and emotional and other times, they are very horrible, scaring the hell out of me. I always analyse them in order to understand the message from my subconscious.

The most vivid dreams come to me early in the morning. This is the time when I often dream ’real’, when I see my pure state of mind, learn the truth about people, feel a deep emotion, a deep connection to a person, or when a great promotion idea comes to me. It really tells me what I need to know. I am connected to people on a much deeper level in my dream world. And I’m quite sure we indeed are out there somewhere, in a different dimension and indeed are connected deeper somehow.

In dreams, I am so free, so non attached. I can be anywhere, in different towns, different continents, I have unusual experiences with many different people, some of them I know, other I don’t know at all and I wonder if they indeed exist somewhere. The state of just being is the most amazing feeling of all. Sometimes I wonder if this is what it will be like after death, when the soul is free to travel anywhere, without physical limitations.

I also receive warnings in my dream world. For example if I have just been looking at a new house, or have just started to work with a new partner or perhaps met a new guy, and suddenly I dream really terrifying or ugly things about the place or person, I start to think and investigate it a bit further. The subconscious mind always knows way before our rational mind catches up. So I definitely think we should take the emotions seriously. Dream psychologists indeed say ’don’t pay too much attention to the actual dream scene, pay more attention to how it made you feel, what emotion did you wake up with?’   

A lot of my dreams are very sexual in a peculiar surreal or even supernatural way. It’s like I connect to higher emotional dimensions where I just am the actor or passive victim, and yet I am merely observing myself. It’s just very weird, very sensual, quite abusive in many ways, but very otherworldly electrifying… and I love it… because in such dreams there is no gist of human morals or shame attached to it. It’s beyond that.

It is such emotions that make its way into my artistic expressions. It’s like a never ending source of inspiration… Because in dreams you really are you, in all variations. Dreams do not hide the darker sides of you. They show you the shadow aspects you have to hide from people in real life.

Thus a very strong part of me emerges; the animalistic side, the fighter, the predator, the killer. I do a lot of fighting and killing in my dreams. Often I am hunted, by a man who wants to kill me, sometimes by an unseen entity and I run away, escaping as fast as I can, but at some point I turn around and fight for my life, violently, angrily, fighting off this attacker and I always win… yes either that, or I just wake up totally terrified and angst-ridden. A lot of such dreams are about elevators and shady staircases of large buildings or hotels. I find elevators to be threatening in real life. I’m afraid that the door will open and I find myself in a creepy parallel world. 

Sometimes I dream that I murder someone. I vividly feel the emotion of cunningly planning the murder, doing the deed and then feeling very anxious about getting caught for the crime. Or sometimes I dream that I get kidnapped and held hostage and I realise that they want to kill me but I try very hard to fight my way out of this. In other words, dreams as such are very much about survival. I once read that nightmares and dreams of being chased are very common. They are supposed to train us, to prepare us for reality, to survive life-threatening situations. Thus our bad dreams teach us various survival techniques, which is pretty awesome. I have been kidnapped by this crazy dude once, and I managed to talk myself out of the situation with sly tactic.

I dreamt once that I was locked up in a prison cell and I was waiting to be executed. It was so real, that I really felt I was there and the fear and desperation I felt was just overwhelming. Then I was walking the corridor down to this electric chair and I pleaded so desperately ”please, I didn’t do anything, please let me go, I don’t want to die”. It was absolutely horrible. When I woke up I couldn’t believe I was still alive. I was so happy it was just a dream. But at the same time I suddenly felt such a sense of sadness and compassion for all those poor souls that got executed for something they didn’t do. Can you imagine how this must feel like?

Some dreams express real justice and compassion, and I rescue an innocent animal or a child from some sadistic human… and then I angrily punish the wicked evil-doers severely.

And I can have these awful nightmares, that make me feel really scared all day long. I feel unsafe. Almost like the big threat from the dream-world followed me into the real world and its energy is lingering around me. It’s pretty freaky. And then I dread going to bed the following night in fear that this vision repeats itself.

Once, I dreamt that I was lying in bed and suddenly I was attacked by this man… he was on top of me and I fought him off like crazy. It felt very real. When I woke up in the morning I kind of got a shock. The sheet was all messed up, my arms and legs were bruised with marks and on top of that there was a smell on my skin that was unfamiliar to me, just like the smell of another person. Now that was freaky.

I checked the house, but there was nothing unusual. The doors and windows were locked as well. But I really felt like something was there that night doing things to my body. So I tried to find a rational explanation for that, but everybody I asked suggested that it was just an intense dream and that I probably had been sleeping very restless and that I was hitting myself during the night, which would cause the bruises. But come on, really? I don’t believe we suddenly start to hit and strangle ourselves in our sleep, that would be really weird…

My novel ”The Shadow Of Eloise” is about a young woman who experiences nightmares about a spooky dream figure that suddenly also appears in real life. Of course in my story it ends with a creepy supernatural incidence…

I have had surreal experiences where dream and reality appeared to blend into another. I could dream about a situation and then start my new day, and later that day the dream scene would somehow become real and manifest or even continue from the event in the dream… which is pretty bizarre.

But the question is an interested one; where does the dream world end and reality begin?

(c) Andréa Rayn

Rayn (c)

 

 

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