“When I get lost” – poetic writing

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” When I Get Lost” (c) Rebel Rayn (Andrea Rayn )

I had a dream last night and somewhere within it, I got lost. There was so much truth and so much love, there, where I have been… that I left myself behind. And I woke up to this strange floaty, emotional and beautiful music that was playing somewhere outside by my house and I opened my eyes. I noticed that it was a grey and dark day, an atmosphere that was so otherworldy and I realised that I was in some kind of strange inbetween state. And the day was just unreal, as I was trapped in my own world unable to get out. And with a distance and a certain kind of melancholy, I would go through the day, unable to get out. And I walk the busy Saturday morning streets, alone, and somehow totally non-existing, like I am a ghost.

All people pass me by and I walk by them, yet with my soul left in the dreamworld and not really here amongst them. It is when I am lost like that, that they can hurt me, it is like they know and they can see the girl trapped within. It is like there is a parallel universe, just like this one, and I belong there instead of here. I’ve had moments like this since childhood. And it is at those moments when they come to me, the boys that are so fascinated, wanting a little piece of me… that little sexy energy that makes them feel so good, that draws them down into my world… because they know it is real somehow. I have the key to the little chamber of their soul… that connects them to the world within… I am the one who makes them fall… and I don’t even try. I am just too open… too vulnerable when I am lost inbetween…

And people in general, they just pass by, blind and numb, unable to see the greater world around us. But sometimes I see them, those like me. I see the one kid pass me by, the one little sweet child with faint shadows under his or her eyes, the one kid that doesn’t sleep well at night… there tends to be one of those kids in every class room… that one kid that sees and knows more… Most children crave, they crave from others, they crave energy…

But those little deep ones, they give to others, they give their energy, and it is taken greedily… how I would love to collect those children and tell them ’you are not alone my little one’… – (c) Andrea Rayn , also featured in Thief In The Night…

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